Life altering

Mizuki · Post by **Mizuki** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:17 pm

You never realize...

But once it happens to you... you know.

Not as invincible as we thought we were. Not as impenetrable as we thought we could be. Not as safe as we thought we were...

Didn't think it could happen to us... until it did.-me

Today I feel asleep with bad headache. Where this poem came from... I can't really tell you without making myself vunerable to unfair judgment. I'd...rather not go down that road again. Along with what Emora and some others had posted about a friend dying in a car crash, of course, we're not invincible.

But even after reading that I still had, shamefully admitted, a sense of invinciblity. Until now. Why I'm somewhat sharing my, now presently, own exprience with the realization that we're all mortal. Maybe, overtime I'll share what happened... maybe you guys can already figure it out, but I'll be damned if I let this kill me into frightened submission. True, anything and everything can happen to us in the blink of a moment, but you still shouldn't let it stop you from living your life to the fullest. It should just make you more careful, aware that you're human.

You guys became like a second family, maybe that's why I feel safe in saying what I have to.

Post by **Soran Nightblade** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:49 pm

I hope you're alright, Mizu. Thanks for your message. If you want to talk about anything, I'm around any time. *worries*

Vishaing · Post by **Vishaing** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:15 am

Personally, I've almost been killed four times, three times I almost choked to death but managed to fix myself in a crowd of my friends and keep them from noticing, and I was once run over by this stupid girl who can't look where she's going when she's pulling out of a driveway. Death i a distinct possibility in everything we do and a person can die at almost the drop of a hat (drops a hat). My opinion on that is SO WHAT? Who cares? Keep living the way you want to or its pointless anyways. If you aren't living your life by your rules than you aren't living your life at all you’re living someone else’s, you might as well be dead already in my opinion. So my life hasn’t really been ‘altered’ by what most people consider ‘life altering’ occurrences, rather it’s been hardened to the point that even if I could I wouldn’t alter it. I know I will die some day. And I also know it will likely be because I have killed myself. I also know I’m not going to kill myself until I am exactly 100 years old. Down to the millisecond even. So I know I've got at least 82 years left to live. Yay for me.

Besides, immortality is overrated. Its amazing how boring a single rainy day can become, imagine a thousand years of rainy days, and then you'll know how horrible immortality.

This bears striking similarity to a picture I drew that I intend on one day putting on a tee-shirt. Currently my lazy stupid roommate is sleeping so I can't scan it, well I can, but I don't really feel like finding it right now. Eventually I'll scan it and post it here. Though now I remember it’s not done yet...

Post by **Soran Nightblade** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:47 am

I think what you're saying is in agreement with the other people's points also, Vishaing. To live life with an appreciation of its brevity.

Mizuki · Post by **Mizuki** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 4:56 pm

o.O Never meant to cause a debate on stuff... just wanted to get my feelings out..

Meagan · Post by **Meagan** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:22 pm

You're right, Mizuki and Vishaing.

I used to be suicidal almost two years ago. Now, I've finally opened my eyes and I see all the people out there who care about me. I'm not only living for myself, but I'm living for them too. I'm making the most out of life and putting the worst behind me. I'm not following anyone's example but my own. I'm living MY way by MY rules. Sometimes, I find that I'm the complete opposite of what my family wants me to be, but I don't let it stop me.

I also like Nickole's quote. "You can't live in the past, and there might not be tomorrow, so if you're going to live at all, it will have to be today."

Meagan · Post by **Meagan** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:12 pm

I thought this was an appropriate place to post this so...

Something terrible has just happened, something unimaginable. I will not be able to post much if any at all. I'm very freaked out about this situation I'm in, and it's keeping my mind focused on other things than RPing. I hope to get back soon, though. And I will try to at least post a little bit on this thread to keep you guys updated on things.

Don't worry too much, but your thoughts and prayers are needed.

Airen · Post by **Airen** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:52 pm

How do you know when you're going to kill yourself, Vishaing?

I'm just a little curious about that. And I completely disagree with what you say.

Mizuki · Post by **Mizuki** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:01 pm

Be okay Meagan. -hugs- I'm about to take care of my own problem this weekend. -breathes- I think I've grown 5 years in one week because of what happened to me.

Post by **Emora Deen** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:55 pm

Yea, I've had a problem that made me feel like that. I feel like I'm 28 or something, really old and like I know more than what most teenagers do.

Actually it wasn't one problem. It was a billion problems at one time. It felt like the whole world was falling down around me.

I had school problems, family problems, and on top of that porblems I can't mention. This problem refuses to leave me alone too.

I used to take walks to help me think and to help me relax, but that doesn't work anymore. Rock music, that helps if your ticked off.... anything soft and slow if your sad... But, sad music just makes it worst.

I don't know what sort of problems you're having Mizuki, I know about Meagan's, but I hope for the best for you.

Amenat · Post by **Amenat** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:48 pm

What is the point of worrying we are all dying anyway others faster than some *points to Vashiling* he'll probiby be murdered though.

I'm joining the Marines at the end of next year so I can do what I will.

I may not post for a long time but I won't die until after I have said my good byes. Right now though I have to focus on school and maintain my 3.0 GPA.

Bejei · Post by **Bejei** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:50 am

I don't want to talk about dying. It's inevitable. Everyone will die some day, but it's a matter or when and how. For me, there are things in my life that altered my views, but I can't change how I live my life. I try my best to live life how I want to. I have problems like everyone else in the world, but I just have to look pass them and do my best to move on.

I wish the best for anyone who is going through a tough time. Everyone will go through it at least once in their lives. Just know that there are people in your life supporting you. My prayers go out to whoever needs it.

Vishaing · Post by **Vishaing** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 9:35 am

To Airen: I know when I will die because I refuse to die on anyone else's terms save mine. My life is my own, and since death is simply the end of that life it therefore follows that it too is my own and I therefore have complete and total say in when, where, how, and why it happens.

You have every right to disagree with me, although I would like to know exactly how you disagree so I can at least respond to it. Not so much to attempt to persuade you to a particular mode of thought but rather simply to clarify anything that might have been misconstrued in my first statement.

To Mizuki: Debates are inevitable where people hold different opinions and have the capability of discussing those differences in a civilized manner.

To Amenat: A foreseeable development, I will no doubt aggravate a great number of people in my lifetime, to the point that I am sure many will actively wish my death. However I am quite proficient in the martial arts and once I have the time I intend on mastering the use of firearms. “Nothing like a Shotgun to make your Face feel like the Back of your Head.” After all. I have no doubt that I will be able to defend myself against all but a professional assassin. Though I would dare say you are going to be putting your life into far greater danger than mine own will ever be in. The Marines are the first into the fight after all, and were first commissioned to be the expendable vanguard assigned to take beachheads and fortified areas. SEE – Omaha Beach or ‘Bloody Omaha’

Words of Wisdom:
“There are more dead people than living. And their numbers are increasing. The living are getting rarer.”
~ Eugéne Ionesco (1912 - 1994)

Mizuki · Post by **Mizuki** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:12 pm

Man that's a lot of death talk. I can't not worry about it though, because of the people I'll leave behind... like my own kids. -sigh- I just hope Meagan will be ok.

My problem wasn't life threatening. It just made me see that some things are unavoidable. And if you try to avoid it, something is gonna come back and hit you in the face... or stomache.

Everyone can live their life the way they feel is fine, I just wanted to say something meaningful. maybe help others.

Post by **Emora Deen** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:51 pm

Yea, trying to avoid things is like me trying to avoid my past. Its going to come back and bite me in the ass. I know it. It always does. It's been kicking my tale for three years. No matter how hard you avoid it or how far you run. It will catch up to you. Even if what you did wasn't bad at all.