I never thought I'd see it.

Post by **Emora Deen** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 10:51 am

Yesterday a girl in my class died. I didn't know her very well and the memories I do have of her are slight. I remember she used to make fun of my on the school bus when we were little, but that never really bothered me. I remember she was funny and how we used to joke with her on being short...

I didn't believe it at first, because it just seemed so unreal. So sudden that it couldn't possibly be real.

Then when it finally hit I found myself crying. I couldn't understand why because I didn't know her that well. But, then I realized it was because I knew her. I didn't have to know her well. I was sad because she was pregnant. I was sad because she was never going to experience what life had to offer. She would never know what it was like to get married and have children. She would never know what it was like to grow old. Never know what it was like to see her children grow up.

All because she was driving way to fast on a curve that is to bad. I used to love to go fast, but now I'm afraid to. I wasn't afraid to die and now I am.

I knew people who died. People really close to me. Closer to me than she was and for some reason it just feels different. I think it was because she was our age. She was us. I really understand it now when the teacher's say, "Right now you think your invincible..." Because we do. We don't think about how we could die today or tomorrow without God ever giving us warning. We might never have time to tell people how we feel, or ask forgiveness for something we did to them. It just happens so fast. In a second.

Airen · Post by **Airen** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 11:32 am

I'm also in the girls class and I was very close to her. I just lost my grandfather before Thanksgiving, but it didn't hurt me as bad as this did. I didn't really know why this hurt me so much worse, but then I thought about it. This girl was like my sister. I have known her my whole life and when you see someone nearly everyday of your life you are closer to them than you would have ever realised. The saying "You'll never know how much you miss someone until you lose them." is very true.

This is a pain that I would never wish on anyone. I can't even begin to explain how much it hurts. School is not going to be the same without her. All I keep thinking about is the last time I saw her and fortunately it's a good, happy thought. If I could give anyone some advice it would be to always tell those you care about how much you care before you leave them each time because you never know what could happen. When God decides it's your time, it will be too late for you to tell them.

Meagan · Post by **Meagan** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:34 pm

I also knew her, though she wasn't in my class. At first, I was thankful that the school bus she hit, that everyone was okay. Then, I heard that the driver of the car that hit it was a senior in high school. When I found out who it was, even though I never talked to her or anything, it was a shock to me.

I also heard that her brother ran all the way from the school down to the scene of the wreck. I can't imagine how he feels, because you know he saw it. Saw her.

All of this was so unexpected. And I remember she sat in front of me on the bus. Everyone seemed to like her. I can't tell you about a single person who didn't. She got along with everyone.

Even though I didn't know her well, it has really bothered me in more ways than I could imagine. To think she was going to graduate in a couple of months... School will be so different on Monday.

Amenat · Post by **Amenat** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 1:27 pm

You guys are breaking my heart and I don't even know her but I'm friends with all of you so I can 'sense' your pain. May she rest in peace until god comes.

*hugs you all twice*

Meagan · Post by **Meagan** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 1:35 pm

Thanks, Nat. *hugs back*

Post by **Emora Deen** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 1:50 pm

I got on, thinking that maybe a little rping would cheer me up. But, it doesn't seem to help much. A bunch of seniors are getting together to go to her house and just pay there respects. I want to go, but I can't because I have to go have dinner with my family and my dad's friend's family. I don't want to go in a way because I can only imagen that they might want time alone and no one around them...

I can't imagen how graduation or memory night, or anything where we do stuff as a whole is going to be like. Its going to be different.

Teachers always say, "You think your invincible." I always thought I didn't think I was... but the more I think about it the more I realize that it was in my head the whole time. I always thought I'd know when I would die... That was a stupid thought.

Yesterday they were picking with her. Casey joked and wrote a little essay about how the world would be a better place without Shannon. She was laughing about it. Casey never knew that it would actually happen that day.

Thursday Laramy, a boy in our class was talking about going 120. Coach Baswell got on to him for going so fast and said you might wreck. Laramy said he didn't care. Coach Baswell said, "One day you'll know someone who dies in a wreck for doing something stupid like that." I bet Coach Baswell didn't think it would be the next day.

Its almost like everything said and done led up to that moment to teach us all a very big lesson. One that we all needed.

Life, no matter how horrible yours is, is a gift from God. Be thankful that your alive. Be thankful for your friends and family. In a heart beat they can be stripped from you, or you from them.

This has hit me hard, strange because I've had someone I loved die before. Maybe the more I see death happen the more it gives me a wake-up call that I need to turn my life around. Start doing things better.

God did this for a reason. I don't know the reason, but everything happens for a reason. Shannon's death could very well be what keeps some of the people in my class alive for years to come. Maybe that was her reason for living all these years. For that moment in time when everyone heard and for just a brief moment there heart stopped and they stopped breathing and when it finally sunk in it made everyone who knew her cry. Even if they never spoke to her, or knew much about her.

A total of 500 people go to our school. That's kindegarden through 12. Everyone knows everybody and everything you do. Its not hard to know of Shannon. She had a bubbly personality. A big beatifiul smile. She did have people who didn't like her, but from what I've heard they all feel horrible now and wish they could patch things up. But, its too late. Maybe that's taught them a lesson to never put off for tomorrow what you can get done today.

Amenat · Post by **Amenat** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 2:01 pm

It's scary isn't it? What can happen in a blink of an eye. I was at VBS and we were planning to visit my grandma after VBS ended. That day is one I'll never forget, my parents pulled up in the car and I knew right then something was wrong. I wasn't as cheery as the day before even though I didn't know my grandma had died in her sleep.

I don't remember when I had this dream or even if it was a dream but I remember following my parents to my grandma's room but many people were inside and they were busy. I knew she was truely gone from that moment on. I think I had the dream the night before she died but didn't remember it until later.

But my grandma had a long and happy life but this girl had such a short life, she never even had her baby..

Airen · Post by **Airen** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 2:32 pm

I only ask that everyone take time and pray for Shannon's family and friends who just lost a loved one. Shannon was one of the greatest people I know and I'm happy to have known her for the time I was given with her.

Amenat · Post by **Amenat** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 2:37 pm

Amen brother.

Meagan · Post by **Meagan** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:02 pm

I've had people I've known die before. Family, even. I hardly even knew Shannon, but her death has impacted me more than any other.

Emora's right. Lifs is a gift. I've had some pretty bad things happen in my life. Sexual, verbal, and mental abuse. I've had a married man ask me to sleep with him, and when I refused, he wouldn't leave me alone. And I was afraid that if I ignored him, things would only get worse. That's over now, though, btw. When I was in the 6th grade, my best and only friend at that time, left me to be with all the popular girls. I was alone, and even though I made new friends, I still felt alone. I was suicidal when I was 13. I've had people threaten to kill me multiple times. I've even been in many near-death situations.

But the point is, although life is sometimes hard, it's a gift. You have to keep your hopes up and look at the good things in life. You have to be optimistic and live for now. Not then or later. Even though you sometimes feel your alone, and that no one is there for you, God is always there. Problems in life are not punishment but lessons. They make you stronger and wiser.

Also, appreciate those around you. None of us are immortal. We'll all die someday. Take the people you love for granted while you can, because neither you or them will be around forever.

Bejei · Post by **Bejei** » Sun Mar 12, 2006 4:15 am

First off, my condolences to her families, friends, love ones, and anyone who was impacted by her recent passing.

I don't want to place my problems in here, but I have to let out some steam. Things I have been holding in for a long time.

Believe me, I know how it feels to lose someone. I try to carry on like everything is ok, but it's not. Nothing is ever the same without that person in your life. Life is f**k up. I'm sorry, but I can't hold it in any longer. Seeing this thread brings the hurt I feel for my aunt and uncle back to me. My aunt had a stroke a few months before her death. After the stroke, she didn't even remember who I am. She's not that old... mid to early 50's. The pain I had to endure when she didn't even know me.

Well, I hope for the best to everyone impacted by her death. I understand what Emora is saying. No one is immortal, invincible, or untouchable. I know that all too well. I just came back from my uncle's funeral, and my aunt's funeral is next week. You never know when it's your turn.

Damn!!! *lowers head to pray*

Side note: Emora, we can postpone our rp until you're ready.

Post by **Emora Deen** » Sun Mar 12, 2006 10:55 am

Have to think as if I were another character helps me escape from reality, even if its only for a little while. RPing is actually my form of theropy.

Amenat · Post by **Amenat** » Sun Mar 12, 2006 4:44 pm

*Island chanting*

Love, Emotion, Feelings, Devotion.
Don't need to be the afraid to be weak.
Don't need to be the proud to be strong.
Just look into your heart my friend,
that will be the return to yourself
The return to innocents.

*Island chanting*

If you want then start to laugh
If you must then start a cry.
Be yourself don't hide.
Just believe in destiny.
Don't care what people say,
Just follow your own way.
Don't give up and lose to the chains
The return to innocents.

(Spoken)
That's not the begining of the end
That's a return to yourself
The return to innocents.

*Island Chanting*

That's the return to innocents.

Return to Innocents by Engima.

Meagan · Post by **Meagan** » Sun Mar 12, 2006 4:49 pm

As much as I try to escape reality, it always comes back to me. RPing helps, but only for a little while. The more I RP, the more I'm away from my problems. That's why I've joined so many.

I'm sorry, Bejei, about your Aunt and Uncle. My great-grandmother suffered from Alzheimers (spelling...?) before she died last year. She didn't know who I was either. She swore up and down that I was George Washington's daughter. >.> She thought my younger brother was her dad... It got worse everyday. I was actually relieved when she finally died.

Post by **Emora Deen** » Sun Mar 12, 2006 4:55 pm

Yea, my great grandmother lived with us when I was little. I had to take care of her because she forgot how to do things and forgot who people were. I would have to clean up after her when she used the bath room on the floor... My childhood memories aren't very happy ones because my parents didn't get along either when I was little. So not only was a sad for my granny I was sad because of my parents as well.