Heirot

Forgive me if everything I do over the weekend is morbid. Forgive me if you talk to me and all I can do is sigh.

But reality hit us on Thursday. A senior boy in my class, and his sister, were in a lethal car accident that killed his sister. A freshman in our school, only 14. I just came home from the Candle lighting ceremony. My god, how it made me think of how just an hour or so before on that day I had walked behind the boy in the hallway at school, and he was laughing. His life hadn't collapsed yet. He had no idea--no one had any clue-- that in the next hour he would lose his sister because someone wanted to speed down the street.

Full story:
http://cbs3.com/topstories/local_story_089080618.html

Ain't much since it was so...recent...

All day today, everyone who had even just known the boy and his sister by name walked the halls of our school with blank faces.

It isn't fucking fair. She was smart, a good kid to those who knew her. Why her?

Times like these get me really thinking. What if I died?
She had no clue, that in her freshman year of high school fate would knock her down. I wonder, if anyone could have the chance to know when it would be their time, what would they change? She probably wouldn't have gone to school that day if she knew... Damn, if she had only been sick that day and stayed home... or stayed after school... the girl would still be here.

I was told her brother was at the ceremony, I couldn't see him though. It's my guess he was kneeling next to her tribute silently, and listening to everyone talk about their times with her. He'll never come to school the same way again.

I can only cry. Dang.. the sad part is that everyone can relate and knows what a bitch life can be.

I had a girl in my senior class die in a car accident because she was going to fast on a road that many people have died on.

We all used to joke, it was like a "curse" thing at our school. Every other year something bad happens to the senior class on there senior skip day. Well, it turned out that supposedly our class was supposed to have the curse, since it skipped the class before us. We always joked, and never really believed. But, that senior skip day when we got the phone call... Well, never thought that we would see the day that someone close to use, our age, would die.

I guess my whole class had this... immortal feeling. Like we would never get old, and we would never die. We could drive as fast as we wanted, drink as much as we wanted, do as much as we wanted and never die.

It hit home hard, and though I miss her I know that she did for a reason. Now, the people in my class make smarter decisions and finally realize that they can't live forever. They always thought that they could choose win and how they would die. Now they know they won't and thankfully they have become better people, smarter... At least most of them have.

I never thought that she would die. She was pregnant with a little girl, and was still going to go to college, and raise her child. She was strong, independent, and always smiled.

I saw her the day before she died, and looking at her as she picked on Casey for being tall... I would have never thought she would be gone the next day.

That is life.

Life is an ever changing world, and we continuously stuggle to adapt. You only have one life to live, live it to the fullest, and live it good.

I'll be forever driving by the place she died. Seeing her tribute on that corner. Each time I drive by I turn my music down and give her a moment of silence in my car. It hurts each time I see it, I think the pain is getting better but then I see that place and... it hurts again.

Most kids at my school know they aren't invincible, so they're smart about what they do. It wasn't even her brother's fault. It was the other driver. He completely...smashed the passenger side of their car.

She died of internal bleeding.

I wonder sometimes, how there's supposed to be a loving god that has a plan for his/her children. Well, I have a hard time believing in that 'plan' when kids like her die like that. But then, that's when i think about what I want to do with myself. I want to write.

Her memory will never fade, not if I have a say in it. I refuse to forget.

It's good not to forget, though that doesn't mean you can't let yourself recover. I'm praying I don't have any fatal experiences to come to terms with myself this week, but I'll know better by tomorrow night after my Dad's had his surgery. I think things happen for a reason and there is some balance/master plan going on out there. Death inspires others to live harder and better. Its disorder and insanity beget inspiration and organized motives. Am I saying it's good that people die? No...but I'm tentatively laying out that in the end, things more or less work out for the net good.