Mature: Desert Moon

[Emora Deen]

"Talk to Sinead," Atul repeated before exiting through the secret door between their rooms.

Inside the bathroom Tenele rinsed her hair and washed the salt tears off her cheeks. She knew that Vlad was hurting, that it wasn't his fault. She knew all of these things, so she felt silly and embarrassed for reacting the way she had to his pain. But, knowing that being with her made him so upset was the equivalent to raping him. He didn't really want to make love to her, all he saw was torment and pain when he looked at her. He saw whatever that man had done to her, what she couldn't remember. Forcing him to make love to her because she needed to know she was wanted was wrong.

Tenele sobered herself and wrapped in a warm robe. She slowly exited the room, peeking before dawning the rest of her courage.

She stepped up to the bed, climbed onto it, and began running her fingers in gentle circles over his back. "I'm sorry I reacted that way."

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad shook his head in the blankets, bracing for eye contact. He was feeling very alone, which used to be fine for him. He swallowed his emotions and rolled onto his side so he could look at her. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I put you in a bad position. Well, technically it was a wonderful position."

[Emora Deen]

Tenele chuckled softly at the joke. Even given the circumstances she could find that funny. Tenele brushed her fingers along his neck lightly, hoping that contact was okay with him, and hoping it was soothing. "We'll work this out," she told him, trying to smile.

Tenele covered her husband in a blanket and went to the wardrobe. She lowered the robe and draped it over a chair, dawning a beautiful Hajaran silk dress, with its thin straps and its ruched chest.

"I'm going to take Tenara down for breakfast. Do you want to join us?" she asked him. Even if they couldn't make love, she wanted his company, wanting his companionship and his love.

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad sat up, letting the cover Tenele had thrown over him pile around his waist. "Could I ask you to stay here, a minute," he asked, swallowing pride in large gulps.

[Emora Deen]

Tenele paused, moving to sit in a chair near the doors to the balcony. She rested her hands on her knees. "Okay," she sighed. "I'll stay here. Should I not wake Tenara yet?"

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad's spirit sank. That expectant, dreading look shook all his resolve loose. He didn't want to go to Sinead alone, but it felt clear he was a burden. They were used to him being strong and ready. He was failing them right now. Of course they didn't want to be near him. "No...wake her. I have some options to work on. I'll be the person you love again, soon.

[Emora Deen]

Tenele stood up. "You are the man I love," Tenele told him firmly. She crossed the room to him. "You aren't someone else. I love you. You are the man I love. I just... I don't want to hurt you. I don't know what to do right. I hurt you a minute ago. Being with me was horrible for you. Tell me where the line is between what pain I cause you earlier and tolerance for my presence and I will tread that for you. I dint care if we can't make love, I care about making you comfortable."

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad stared at her for a moment. He had to be confident and calm about this. "Sorry. Im not feeling myself. It seems fine until I'm inside you, and then I remember hurting you, and the lines are blurred. And it feels good anyway, which makes things worse. Other than that, if my behavior seems off, it's probably because I... men have a lot of pride about these things. I've always been able to perform as I chose. My pride is hurting. I snapped at Sinead last night when she tried to make me discuss it. But I will approach her today. I will get help. I promise.

[Emora Deen]

Tenele reached out and touched his arm. "At your own pace," she said softly. "I can understand. You are a vey prideful man..." She tried to imagine what he was feeling, what he was seeing. To be her attacker and the man who loved her at the same time... "I'll wait here like you asked. I'll get Tenara dressed and ready and then when you get back we can go to breakfast together."

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad blinked. When he got back. Now? Oh... Oh. Now. "Okay," he said, looking wide-eyed like he'd just been pushed on stage unexpectedly. He stood up, his perfect body completely naked as he walked to his wardrobe. He drew out a set of clothes and put them on efficiently, not showing off as he usually did. He went to Tenele's side fully clothed and brushed her face with his hand. "You're beautiful. I'll see you soon."

[Emora Deen]

Tenele blinked at him, smiling. She pressed her face into his hand gently. "That was where you were going, right? You don't have to see her this minute. You just asked me to stay here so you could go somewhere. I figured that's where you were going." Tenele clamped her mouth shut. She was so worried about forcing him to do things he wasn't comfortable with. She was afraid she'd talked him into doing something he wasn't ready for. "At your own pace," she repeated to him. She pressed a kiss to his palm and moved to Tenara's door.

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad felt calmer as he watched her go. Calm enough to resist the urge to ask her to come with him. He really wasn't sure what Sinead would do...assuming she could do anything. All he knew was that she'd asked to take a look. Whoops. Nervous again.

He made his way out of the room and down the hall. He tried not to look like a man who'd just mortified his wife during sex.

A knock on Sinead's door earned an answer just a few moments later. The woman was dressed and looked regal and calm as she glanced out at the vampire. "Vladimir," she acknowledged him calmly.

She didn't say good morning, or ask why he was there. Vlad was relieved when she simply stepped to the side and gestured permission for him to enter. He shut the door behind him psychically, and followed her until she paused to turn and look him over. Vlad felt vulnerable under that gaze. No one else could look into him like that.

"Please sit down," she said seriously, gesturing to a chair. It wasn't a cordial invitation; it was a concerned order.

Vlad followed the direction and stared at her.

"I'm not going to eat you, Vlad," she said as she pulled a chair up across from him and sat down so they were knee to knee. "You'll let me look?"

"If it will help you," he said.

Sinead cocked her head. She wasn't used to seeing him sound so depressed. "The things you have locked...I'll need to open them. For a short while." She met his eyes and smiled gently. "I can count on my fingers the times I've seen fear in your eyes," she observed.

Vlad didn't break her gaze. "I'll trust you, Sinead. Look where you must."

[Emora Deen]

Tenele roused Tenara, who was slow to wake. Stalker licked her face to rouse her when Tenele's gentle nudging didn't work.

"Nooo," Tenara giggled, trying to hide under the covers.

"Oh, no," Tenele laughed, lifting Tenara up. She sat her on her feet and adjusted her little nightgown. "We need to get dressed. Daddy is going to be back to go to breakfast with us in a little while."

"Okay," Tenara yawned. She rubbed her eyes gently, following her mother over to her little wardrobe. Tenele dressed her daughter in an adorable pastel green dress. She combed the little girls hair and pinned back half of it with a bow.

[Soran Nightblade]

Sinead held tight to Vlad's shoulders, wincing as another scream filled the silent room. She had to use magic to augment her own strength in order to keep him still. She'd suspected something happened to him, but she didn't expect it to be this bad. It brought back some tough memories of her own, because she hadn't seen him like this since he was chained in Maxwell's lab hundreds of years ago. The vampire had made an awful mess of his mind. His recent skirmish with Maxwell, Tenele's amnesia-inspired rejection of him, and the torture Lelana had shown him were tangled like a hopeless knot. It was impossible to touch one thread of guilt without simultaneously triggering unrelated threads of anger or pain or loneliness. Even for someone like Vlad, it was possible to go through too much in too short a time. He didn't realize how close he was to actually having a mental breakdown.

He was fighting her, which was exhausting. It was hard to untangle a knot with someone tugging at it.

A small but insistent knocking sounded at the door. "Your Highness....is everything alright?" a maid called anxiously from outside.

Sinead frowned and threw a sound shield over the room. She didn't have a lot of concentration to spare while sorting out Vlad's mind.

*Queeny....it's okay...let's take a break...* Vlad's mind begged.

*I'm working. Shh,* she soothed. She'd not even finished taking him apart yet, let alone putting him back together.

It was half an hour later when she finally made a slow retreat from Vlad's mind. She'd separated his memories and done what she could to fragment them away from each other. The illusions were no longer mixed with truth, and some of the pain was no longer so tightly linked.

That being said, he didn't look so great. As soon as Sinead's spell released him, she had to rush forward to catch his sagging form. She leaned him back into the chair, sitting next to him to rest her own tired mind and hold him still in case he fell again.

The size of the work she'd just done slowly sank in. For a little while, she'd seen things no one should feel or experience. She wanted to protect him from them, and instead all she could do was spring cleaning on the mess they left behind. She rested her head on his shoulder, tears rolling down her cheeks. Exhausted, she closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, a warm arm was wrapped around her shoulder. It took a while to believe it was Vlad cradling her. She raised her aching head and looked up at the vampire next to her.

"Awake?" he asked in a gentle voice normally reserved for Tenele. "The maids are bringing some tea."

"Tea..." she murmured, flabbergasted that she was being babied by her strange vampiric servant.

[Emora Deen]

"Is daddy really coming?" Tenara asked while she played with her toys.

Tenele brushed the doll's hair and set her back in the little wooden chair. "Yes. He had to stop by grandma first and speak to her. It might be taking a little while. He's coming, don't worry."

"I'm not," Tenara replied.

Stalker nudged the little girl, and Tenara giggled softly. "Mommy," she sighed, taking up the doll that Tenele had just put down. "I had a bad dream."

"Really?" Tenele asked, moving to sit closer to her daughter. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Tenara pursed her lips together and stood up. She fell over Stalker, draping across his furry form like he were a bear rug. "I dreamed that there was a monster under my bed."

"There isn't a monster under your bed," she replied softly, brushing her fingers through her hair.

"Not yet," Tenara argued.