Heirot

Artisuren reached out slowly and brushed his fingertips against Laurius's pajamas. His heart kicked and flailed in his chest. Was it wrong to take this much comfort from Laurius's welcome? Five minutes ago, he'd felt wretched enough to vomit. Now he was with him, washed clean and held close at Laurius's side. Ren pressed his horns gently into the man's chest and took a steadying breath. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw those black pools staring from the darkness, their unvoiced screams pounding in his head. He put all his focus into his master's presence next to him, and eventually he stopped shivering and fell asleep.

_______

Havi's bed was a mess compared to his usually tidy sleeping habits. He lay face down, his hair a wild mess around his body. The sheets were mostly discarded, but the ones that remained were ripped and spattered with dark stains, a gruesome souvenir from last night. He was soundly asleep, temporarily peaceful amidst the tattered mess of the sheets.

Tenara’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, and though she could barely see the bed she saw enough to recognize carnage.

Her heart leapt, pounding in her ears as she gathered her gown and lifted it to get her knee on the bed. She crawled over the stains, shredded sheets, and puffs of loose feathers, a telling hand reaching out for him.

He had once said he would rather die than be bonded to a Yurivis…

Her hand gently nudged him, finding relief in the fact he was warm. “Havi…”

Havi's eyes flashed open and immediately shrank to tiny gold points against the black. His head... something was boring through his skull. He made a choking sound and dug his nails deep into the mattress. "Shit. Argh... shit!" he grabbed at his head like he could rip off whatever was hurting him.

His hand brushed his horn, and agony bruised through him, stunning him silent. His bleary eyes caught sight of Tenara's and focused on her. He remembered now. "T...enara." he winced as he realized he was still touching his horn. He jerked his hand down with a wheeze and pinned it to his chest instead. "Shit," he hissed again, curling over.

Tenara didn’t understand what was wrong, but he kept reaching for his horns like they hurt. Was this a rut? What was all the staining on the sheets? The tears? “What’s wrong?” she asked, reaching for his horn. That’s when she noticed the difference in length, the nubbiness of its end. Her heart wrenched, her stomach churning. “Oh, Havi… you didn’t…” She touched lightly near the middle, fearing going any closer to inspect. She knew how sensitive these were, knew the pain he must be in. Her eyes brimmed with tears.

Havi gritted his teeth while her fingers explored his damaged horn. It took his best effort not to move. He knew she would need to inspect it for herself. "It's already healing," he said through chattering teeth. "This is t... temporary."

“Temporary?” she croaked. Healing? Was it growing back? He sounded awful, and cold. Was it shock? She pulled the blankets around him, trying not to cry in a way that he might hear. He’d done this? Without her? Did he really not want to rely on her magic so strongly?

She wiped her eyes and tucked the covers around his shoulders. “I could help,” she said. “I could try…”

Havi had no idea what she meant by help. His head wasn't clear enough to think. He touched her cheek with a shaky hand. "Try what? You don't have to. Don't cut anymore," he said, even though his head was spinning. "Don't be a Yurivis. Just be Tenara." He wished he could stop shaking.

Just be Tenara. She didn’t know what that meant. She didn’t have the sword near her. She would have to go back to her room and get it to help in that way, and… he had done this to avoid her magic.

She nodded, brushing fingers through his hair. “Alright,” she said softly, cupping his quivering hand to her cheek. “I’ll be Tenara. Rest.”

Tenara took her bandaged hand and removed the outer layer. It didn’t hurt, and the doctor had said she could. She took the extra gauze and held it, hesitating before trying to wrap it around the ruined end of his beautiful horn.

She cried then. He seemed too out of it to tell, writhing and disoriented. She wrapped it as gently as she possibly could, tying it loosely a distance away from the wound. As the sun rose, light peeked through the curtains, casting a glaring spotlight on the damage.

His horn. His beautiful, sensitive horn. Why?

Havi put all his concentration into Tenara's presence beside him. He tucked his head beneath her chin, pressing his throbbing horns along her warmth, and released an exhausted breath. "I'm going to do it," he murmured into her skin. "I'm going to love you. Don't say that I can't. I'll read until I learn. I'll read every book in the library. So don't say things like I'll never love you, or I'm a slave." He pressed his forehead against her chest, as if he could absorb her into him that way. "I'm okay. Don't be afraid. I'm the same as before. It's only a piece. A small piece to keep with you. I want for you to have it." He continued to ramble gentle reassurances into her bosom as he lay in her embrace.

Tenara couldn't breathe. His words were beautiful and terrible all at once. He'd harmed himself to be with her, to keep a part of him with her even when he was a sword. Because he thought it was a way to love her?

"I am sorry I told Laurius such a thing," she said, her voice cracking. She pulled him close. "I am sorry I asked you to hit me. I am..." She pressed a kiss to his head, and another at his temple. "Love me as you can. I am happy. As long as you are with me, I am happy." She combed her hands over him, trying not to look at the wound. "Rest. Please. Please rest."

Havi couldn't help but melt under her gentle words and kisses. "I'll be with you. That's the whole reason... promised your mother..." he rambled, before finally drifting off again.

Promised her mother? Promised her mother what? He wasn't making any sense, but that was to be expected. He was in shock, wasn't he? She combed fingers through his head and settled down more comfortably next to him, holding him to her chest. "I will be a better Yurivis. I will be whatever you need me to be. Please don't do this again. Please don't hurt yourself."

Tenara laid with him, listening to the birds outside. The maids knocked on the door and she sent them away. She stroked soothing fingers through his hair until she put herself to sleep.

----

The maids entered his room, rousing him with their busy work. They rebuilt the fire, stoked it into a roar, and opened the curtains. Sunlight poured over them, warm and annoyingly bright. Laurius groaned and curled into Ren a little tighter. "Leave us," he mumbled, and the maids did. They shut the door, and he was alone with the phage. His hand tightened over Ren's side, pulling him closer.

"We should get up," he acknowledged. "Especially if there is a pain-riddled phage going to slaughter my servants."

Ren opened his eyes groggily to the sensation of Laurius's arm around him. He breathed in the scent of his master's sheets, his room, his hair...

"...should get up," Laurius's words wandered through his brain. He wanted to wrap himself up in that voice. He fanned a leg out behind him, stretching without leaving the man's embrace. A warm throb deep in his body reminded him of the pleasure he'd indulged the day before. He murmured a pleased curse into Laurius's chest.

"Especially if there is a pain-riddled phage going to slaughter my servants."

"Hm?" Ren mumbled. Then, it came back to him. He remembered the sound of the wire cutting through bone as he pulled it back and forth, the smell of blood and singed marrow. Thvoros's shaking voice pleading with him to "Don't stop...Be quick."

Ren shot upright. Had he really left him in that condition? Even if Thvoros was a massive prick, it was hard to think about the agony he'd seen last night. "Shit...I should check on that bastard."

Laurius sat up, brushing a hand through his tangled red hair. "Yeah. Let's do that," he said, slipping out of bed. He went to his closet and snatched out some clothes, stripping down without shame or shyness. He dressed quickly and scooped up Havitharon's sliver of horn, wrapped in a silk cloth. "I still can't believe he asked you to do this without proof that it would work... Last night, I was just theorizing the draining summoning could be caused by the damaged soul stones when I fell a sleep at my desk... I'll probably keep that to myself now so this sacrifice doesn't seem for nothing..." He opened the silk and looked inside, wincing. "Must have hurt."

Ren took a sudden interest in the floor. "A little," he hedged. When Laurius had injured himself to summon him back from the sea, Ren had been too mortified to even speak with him until they reached shore. What if Laurius had to constantly injure himself? "For whatever reason, Thvoros's form seems to require more frequent upkeep than mine. If he thinks doing this will allow him to be at his Yurivis's side without injuring her, his choice has honor."

He looked at the papers spread across the man's desk. "Whether the horn helps her or not, your strategy sounds like it will make the connection more efficient... and improve the value of your design. That's important too."