Heirot

Tenele buried her face in the pillow. "You didn't rape me," she said firmly, even if it sounded muffled from the pillow. "Please don't say that." Please don't say that while you're holding me. She twisted her face out of the pillow. "I wanted you to make love to me. I asked you to. Repeatedly... I am over reacting because of what happened to me. That's all, isn't it? It was all an accident and I'm blowing it out of proportion..."

Vlad pressed his forehead to her back. "It doesn't matter about proportions. My job is to anticipate where the lines are and make sure I don't cross them. I made the most careless error possible at a time when you were vulnerable. I'm missing the lines. They keep moving and I forget where we left them. I don't know where they are anymore. I don't trust myself to do the right thing anymore. I certainly can't blame you for feeling the same way. I'm sure it's not fun, but please at least know that it's my foolishness, and not malice."

"I know its not malice," she whispered, closing her eyes. These moving lines, they were all her fault. All of this pain he felt, that Atul felt, that she felt, it was all her fault. Tenele fisted her hands and pressed them to her eyes. She didn't know how to apologise for the things that were her fault when she kept saying she was sorry. It didn't seem to matter, because being sorry didn't fix the fact her mind was broken. "Maybe if I just hit my head hard enough... Get someone to hit me hard enough... I'll remember. I'll be back to who I was and you both can love me freely without fear."

Vlad chuckled warmly into her blanketed form. "I would offer to help with the theory, but I doubt it would improve our relationship standing, he murmured tiredly.

Tenele laughed softly, shutting her eyes. "Well, if you hit me hard enough, I might forget everything again and we can start over." Tenele snuggled down in the blankets with her vampire husband curled around her back. It was warm, she really didn't need all those blankets, but she liked them.

Vlad shook his head. "I wouldn't want that. I'm horrified that I hurt you...so perhaps this is selfish, but losing this Tenele would hurt as much as losing the old one. You are very real to me. You're not a defect or a placeholder."

Tenele blinked her eyes open, staring at the far wall. Not a defect. Not a place holder. He loved her broken, as much as he loved her whole. Tenele smiled through tears. He probably had said the same thing a different way several times, but for the first time since she woke up in that forest with no memory of herself... she believed him.

Tenele couldn't voice anything without her voice cracking, so she took his hand that was wrapped around her and she drew it up to her lips, pressing a kiss to the skin below his thumb. She hugged that hand to her.

Vlad closed his eyes tight and thought about her gentle kiss on his hand, her fingers holding his palm. "I am overwhelmed by your forgiveness," he whispered. He was more than grateful. He was stunned.

Tenele closed her eyes. "Its just a body," she whispered to him. "My heart is stronger than that. It was an accident, and Atul is no more happy about it than I. I've hurt you both, and you've both hurt me... But, the cuts aren't so deep that they can't be mended and I am not so broken that I cannot forgive. Somehow, I think I would be just as forgiving if I had my memories back."

"Yes," Vlad agreed quietly. "I know the memory is probably ruined now, but it meant so much to me that you wanted to make love. Feeling wanted and accepted by you...you make me so incredibly happy.

Tenele smiled softly. She couldn't call the whole memory a total loss, even if the last part left an uneasy taste in her mouth. "I enjoyed it... I was happy and there are other chances for that again. We have our whole lives. I'm sure, at least I hope, we can be like that together again."

"When we're both ready," Vlad agreed. He wasn't ready by a long shot. If he were to bite her right now, all she'd get from him was a big dose of self-directed loathing and distrust. He didn't trust or like himself enough to try anything with her, even if she thought she was ready. But his confidence was his own problem to deal with.

Tenele nodded at his words. It would take some time, but she was sure that eventually they could be that way again. "Good night, Vlad," she whispered, closing her eyes and settling back against him. "Tomorrow we get to face the wrath of our daughter..."

Vlad smiled at the thought of Tenara. "Goodnight, my love." He thought of the nights when Tenara had been a baby and he'd spent the night hours holding her and watching her sleep. The memory calmed him enough that his drained body finally fell asleep.

Tenele stood on deck, leaning over the railing and appraising the Hajarian capital. It was a very tan city, some of it built on cliffs, and some of it sloping down towards a shore. The palace looked overly ornate and made of smooth stone compared to the rough mud-brick city.

There were crowds gathered at the docks, and banners depicting the King's seal. She'd imagined him a very popular and loved King, and it seemed she hadn't been mistaken.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the King emerge from below deck. He looked exhausted, and had deep dark circles under his eyes. His eyes were red and bloodshot. He didn't look well, worst than she had seen him on the day he and Vlad fought.

Tenele pursed her lips together and looked down at the turquoise water.

"How long before we dock?" Atul asked the captain.

"Oh, just a few minutes. I've got the cabin boys getting your things, my King. I spotted your escorts waiting for you on the docks."

"Thank you," Atul muttered, turning from him. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Tenele standing right behind him, staring up at him. He lowered his gaze immediately and side stepped her. His heart was going to rupture, but he couldn't see the look of hatred on her face. He nearly broke apart then and there.

He glanced back... and she was following him.

She was going to try and kill him, he was sure of it. She was gaining on him. Atul thought about stopping and letting her hurt him, if that would help her feel better. She grabbed his arm and snatched him back. "Don't walk away from me," she called. "Wait."

Atul froze, staring at the wooden deck as the woman came to stand before him. She folded her arms over her chest. "I don't usually have sex with a man before I've been on a date with him," she muttered, and then frowned. "At least, I don't think I do..."

Atul lifted his gaze in confusion. She looked just as confused as he felt. But, there was no rage or hate in her eyes when they flinted back to him. "So... you have to take me on a date now." She nodded firmly, and then shook her head. "Not, now. Not, like, right this minute, but soon." Her face was flushed and getting redder by the second. "Because... well... I think... That it is a good idea that I get to know you too."

Atul's lips parted in bewilderment. He just stared at her, mouth gaping, unable to form words.