Mature: Desert Moon

[Emora Deen]

Atul nodded. He'd wanted to suggest it. He wanted Vlad to try and talk to her, since he couldn't. He hadn't wanted to push the vampire into anything he didn't feel comfortable doing.

Gods he wanted to tell her he was sorry and beg for her forgiveness, but he knew he wouldn't get it. He knew he'd only hurt her.

[Soran Nightblade]

"I'll be back soon." Vlad went to Atul and traced his fingers against his neck. "I will make this better."

[Emora Deen]

Atul nodded, wrapping his arms around the vampire. He pressed into him for a long minute before he knew he had to let Vlad go. He sat back down on the bed, in the exact position he'd been mourning in for the last few minutes.

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad kissed him lovingly. "I will be back soon," he said, unable to remember if he'd already said it. The world was a cold blur.

Two minutes later, he arrived just outside the storage area where his wife had made love to him and called him 'husband'. "Tenele," he said quietly from beyond the crates.

[Emora Deen]

Tenele tugged the blanket up to her chin and waited. He was quiet. She hadn't even heard him walk up. She was starting to wish she had gone to her bedroom so she could lock him out. She gripped the necklace in her hand tightly, thumbing the two rings she had dangling from her chain. She'd removed her own ring and placed it with his, intending to give him the necklace. She didn't want them anymore. But, then at the last minute she'd put the necklace back on.

She had a daughter with this man, as well as the other one. No matter how upset she was with him, she couldn't ignore that.

And if Vlad had really conspired with the King to do this, why would he have let her inside his head to find out about it? Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe it was only an accident...

"I was just about to go back to my room..."

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad sat down against the wall in the hallway. "That's good. It gets cold here at night." He paused. "I'll stay in the bunk." He already know that wouldn't be good enough, but he felt the need to hear it from her.

[Emora Deen]

Tenele pursed her lips together, slipping down further and tugging the blanket around her more. She had too many things going on inside her head and too many emotions. She felt betrayed, but she also felt so confused by that betrayal. If it were an accident, he didn't mean to... But, that didn't change the fact that another man had been... had felt that. It didn't change that Atul, the King of Hajara, had made love to her vicariously through her husband. It embarrassed her, and angered her, and made her feel used.

"Was it really an accident?" she asked him softly. She wanted so much to believe it was. She'd come to care for him so much, and it hurt. This hurt. She didn't want it to hurt this much.

[Soran Nightblade]

"It was," Vlad said. "It's been so long since I was with him...and your affection was unexpected...and I never once thought it through. I didn't even feel him, the entire time...I was so focused on what was in front of me. And when I did notice him, for a moment, it only seemed amusing, because..." he swallowed hard, "You'd called me husband, and somewhere in the midst of it all, I actually forgot..."

He shook his head. "It was a thoughtless, stupid mistake."

[Emora Deen]

Tenele was quiet. People made mistakes. That was human... Though, he wasn't human. But, that didn't spare him from making a mistake. She'd made him forget about her handicap, and for a moment he thought he was with her... his wife. His old wife. Not that silly, stupid, broken thing who kept him from feeling comfortable.

Tenele huffed, trying not to cry. She felt like a blubbery mess. She was so angry. unable to pinpoint what she was angry at. If she could remember... God, what did it matter? She'd slept with the king before. He was her child's second father. She'd fucked him. What did it matter if he had been along for the ride when she fucked Vlad?

Tenele pressed her hands into her head. She was so tired of feeling this way. Like a lost puppy who didn't know where to go or who to trust. She trusted Vlad. And he'd made a mistake, but did it really mean anything?

Maybe, in that moment, and still... it wasn't fear or betrayal she felt, but embarrassment. Embarrassment that a stranger had felt her, and felt that, and had known what she'd done with Vlad?

"I just want to remember," she cried. "If I could remember... I wouldn't feel this way. I believe you. I do. I understand you didn't mean to. I'm sorry I acted that way. It was an accident, you didn't mean to. If I was me, I wouldn't have mind, I understand that."

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad shook his head slowly. He didn't move to approach her. "Tenele, none of this is your fault. It is mine. You're right to be confused and angry. I may have been your husband, but I don't deserve you, and because you don't remember me, you're only just learning it."

He paused a long time. "I've made arrangements to sleep next door to your room. As bad as I may be as a lover, I hope I've at least proven that I will protect you if you need help."

[Emora Deen]

The Queen's Maiden sighed heavily. "I know," she replied. "I know you'll protect me." He loved her. She knew that. She knew it without a shadow of a doubt. She'd felt that love earlier, felt it wrap around her mind before Atul had interrupted it. She'd felt his shock, now that she thought about it, and his fear. His overwhelming shame and fear. "You don't have to though..."

Tenele stood up slowly, tugging the blanket around her shoulders. She stepped around to look at him, her hair a mess and her eyes all puffy and red. "You don't have to sleep in another room... This is what husbands and wives do, right? They have fights... We are both to blame for what happened... and I know you didn't mean to hurt me." Tenele tapped her head, glancing away.

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad stood slowly, like a human. "I will stay as close or as far as you wish," he said. He was in disbelief that she would consider letting him stay at her side. He'd hurt her. The evidence was written all over her face and posture. She was in more pain than she knew how to cope with, and she was still trying to keep up this farce of a marriage to spare his feelings. He was in emotional lockdown, or else his self hatred might have burst from his chest and tried to slice him apart on her behalf. "I will use every resource available to find a way to recover your memories, Lady Raider." He'd noticed her bare hand. The impact echoed, numb and dull in his heart.

[Emora Deen]

"Lady Raider?" she asked him in confusion. No one had used that name on her before. What did that mean? Tenele felt too tired to think about it.

She lifted her gaze up to his. I eyes said it all. She was tired, and sad, and hurt. She wanted to be held tightly, to be swaddled and cradled, and loved. She wanted someone to sooth her raw nerves and just sit quietly with her until she felt better. But, she also knew she wouldn't get that from him.

She could see it in his eyes. He thought her broken, like a shattered vase, and he was too afraid of crushing the pieces even more. She would get no comfort, and Gods did this feel lonely. She was on a ship with dozens of people and she felt alone.

"Okay," she sighed. "I'm going back to the room... you can come if you like. I need to rest. I'm feeling very tired."

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad stood and followed her, giving her space. If he were still connected, he could know what she wanted.

He didn't deserve that connection.

"I will be there in a minute," he said softly once he was sure she was okay with the stairs. Somehow she'd looked so hurt that he half expected the injury to be physical.

He branched off and followed the hall back to Atul's room. With a light knock and a glance at the guards, he let himself in. "Atul?"

[Emora Deen]

Atul sat up from where he lay across the bed staring numbly at the ceiling. The woman he loved thought of him as a rapist. Of course he was crying. He wiped his eyes quickly and tried to appear as if he'd been sleeping. It was a poor effort.

"How'd it go?" he asked, eyes perking up at seeing Vlad. "Is she okay?"