Heirot

There were no words to properly describe what it felt like to hold the sleeping man in his arms. His lover, calm and vulnerable against him. A love who remembered him, and truly knew him. Someone he could be sure of, despite everything that had happened. Their minds were linked, and it felt like floating in a warm bath. Vlad didn't sleep a wink. His fingers traced quiet patterns on the king's tanned skin, committing it all to memory.

When the bell rang to signal midday and the preparation of lunch in the main canteen, Vlad frowned at the inevitable intrusion to his few perfect hours with the half-god. "Atul," he murmured to his lover, cupping his cheek and kissing him in the unintentionally seductive way Vlad tended to do everything.

Atul's lips responded before his body even realized it was waking. His gaze fluttered open and he glanced around the room, faintly making out the last chime. "Oh," he sighed, pressing his lips into Vlad's shoulder. "Guess it is time for lunch."

The King reluctantly left his bed and grabbed two sets of clothing, one for himself, and one to replace the clothes he'd ripped from his lover.

Vlad took the clothes and slid into them. He was more comfortable and relaxed than he'd been in recent memory. When he went to the door, he held for the king just behind him. "I'm going to track down Tenele," he said. I'll check on you later about tonight."

Atul's gaze lit up while he finished dressing. "Okay," he replied. "I'll see you."

Tenele sat at an empty table staring down at her lunch. The room was noisy with soldiers and sailors as they sat at their own tables. The sound reverberated off the low wood ceiling. It made it a little hard to concentrate, but not that she had anything dire to think about.

She ate the food, which was more than she had done at breakfast. As soon as she started, she couldn't stop. She just kept shovelling it into her mouth. "So good!"

Vlad checked their room first. The sight of it brought back warm memories of her willingly touching him, inviting him to her. He closed the door and went back to the canteen to see if she was already eating. He spotted her and warmed at the sight of her.

A few moments later, he plunked down opposite her at the table, crossing his arms on the wood surface. "Real food," he commented, observing the healthy portion she was hacking away at.

"Mmmhmmm," she hummed while chewing. Her green eyes flickered up to him, a rose color stained her cheeks. She swallowed well before she should have, coughing a little. "So, ugh... did the talk go well? Everything work out?" She pushed her food around a little before taking another bite. "You two are buddies again, right?" she asked with a full mouth. Not exactly the table manners Tenele normally possessed.

Vlad's smile flickered at the term 'buddies'. He didn't want to think about what Atul had suggested.

Of course she would think that, when he'd left saying the man wanted friendship and not courtship. It didn't mean anything.

"Thank you for motivating me to see him," he said warmly. "We were able to overcome what happened. He's come to an arrangement with the girl he's to marry. He is free to carry on with relationships as he pleases. He no longer needs to estrange himself from us. He thought I would not forgive him, so he hadn't approached us..."

Tenele's fingers flexed over her fork. Her green eyes fluttered up. "Oh," she smiled. "Well, that's good, isn't it? Now... you can be with him." She dropped the fork in the bowl and pressed her hands into the table. "I'm sure that makes you very happy."

Tenele wasn't sure what her place in this was anymore, not with how her mind worked. The concept of being with both of them was beyond her. She didn't even know the other man. "I can't..." she murmured. "You can... go... Be with him. I can't. I don't know him, not like you do. I don't want to stop you. I know how much you care about him, I can see it in your eyes. But, I can't. I'm sorry. I really am. I am so, so sorry I'm not who you want me to be."

Vlad went dead-still. "Tenele... Okay...just, okay, there is no rush for any of this. I was tactless just now. You don't have to decide anything, about him or about me." He fought back the panic reaction in his brain. He wasn't broken. He wasn't going to lose them. He tried to understand why she seemed so different from before. She'd encouraged him to reconcile with him, hadn't she? Now she seemed upset. "Tenele, what is it? Something's wrong."

Tenele twisted the napkin in her hands. "You were with him," she sighed. "Like I was with you last night. Not that there is anything wrong with that. You're lovers. That's expected. I'm glad you are back together. I'm glad he can make you happy. The guards said you were waiting on me to join, but you'd started..." The sailors exploded with laughter, slapping the table. Someone over there had said something extremely funny. "Maybe this isn't the place to talk about it."

"Yeah. Okay," Vlad said, but couldn't make himself move from his chair. "I'm not leaving you for him, Tenele. Don't tell me to leave you," he murmured.

Tenele stared at the table, eyes misting over. She twirled his ring around her finger, clutching at the necklace. "But, didn't you enjoy being with him more? I bet it was familiar and warm and... Not so confusing. You don't have to worry with him or stay on your toes. He isn't damaged. You would be happier. I can't make you happy anymore. I enjoyed last night, I did. I... care about you. But... I won't make you happy. Can you honestly say I make you happy as I am?

"I am happy, Tenele. I was happy on the island, when you trusted me. You protected me. I was happy catching crabs and building fires and starving to death. I was happy last night, whatever your reasons might have been.

"But I don't love you because you make me happy. I didn't marry you so you could make me happy. I just love you. I couldn't stop if I wanted to, and I couldn't want to if I tried. Or if you tried. You are not an option or a choice to me, Tenele, not for a long time now."

Tenele stayed staring at the table. She couldn't look up, not with her face the way it was. A tear dripped down over her nose and to the table. Why did he love her so much? How could she have forgotten that love? She felt so angry with herself. Tenele nodded softly, reaching up with the napkin the wipe her eyes.

If those words were true then pushing him away would only hurt him. She needed to try harder to be worthy of such devotion. Tenele stood up from her chair and walked around behind him. She leaned forward and draped her arms around his neck from behind. Tenele pressed a light kiss to the back of his head. She had no words to express herself, so she let that kiss speak for her.

Vlad sat very still under that feather-light kiss, relief and confusion burning through him. He wanted to cry. For a second there, he'd really thought she might ask him to choose between them. But she seemed so sad. Was it painful to allow him to be with Atul?

He pushed up from the chair and took her hand. "It's crowded," he said, leading her through the busy room and into the narrow hall that led to the deck. He turned when they were away from all the noise, and studied his wife with worried eyes. "I'm afraid I've hurt you," he mused softly, brushing his fingers against her cheek.