Mature: Desert Moon

[Soran Nightblade]

"No. It is progress," Vlad clarified. "I can tell. Why are you so sure she isn't attracted to you? You know full well she's seen enough to be impressed," he teased.

[Emora Deen]

Atul scowled at Vlad. "Yes, she saw enough to be impressed," he sighed, thinking of her hands on him, stroking over him, coercing him into making love to her. Gods he wanted her. The king exhaled in a shuddering breath to cool is flustered body. "I was drunk," he sighed. "I'm still drunk... I was hurt and angry and lonely and bitter and this woman..." He wasn't sure how Vlad would take it. The vampire and his wife had watched on one occasion the King take a concubine, without question. The two had even been aroused by it. But, he thought that things had changed very much since then.

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad went still and stared at him. Not against his will.... willingly....with some stranger? "I don't understand," he barely breathed. "You..." The pain bloomed up inside of him, scratching for purchase against his ribs. "You were bitter, so..." He looked like he'd been slapped.

[Emora Deen]

"I didn't," Atul replied quickly. "I almost did. I... finished myself." Atul frowned at the water. "I thought I could with her and pretend it was Tenele, that she still loved me, and that she wanted me. That's so sick and stupid and I hate myself for it. But, I want her. I love her. I need her. I need her, Vlad. And I can't and I won't have her and I can't be in a relationship where the woman I want is out of my reach. It is painful, worst than the idea of being in a relationship with Espha. I didn't want Espha. Its like dangling food in front of a starving man, and I'm afraid on day the chains that hold me away might snap and I'll snatch the food up and devour it before its ready. I wanted that woman to take that desire away from me."

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad sagged forward, the relief making him buckle. "I know we haven't ever talked about........rules..." The vampire seemed to be struggling. "And I know I'm not the same or as good as a woman. So until Tenele has grown to know you again, if you need...someone else, maybe, if you could just ask me first." He shuddered. "I need to use your sink." He shot up and bolted to the opposite end of his huge ensuite.

His left hand jerked his right sleeve up to his elbow unsteadily. He didn't want Tenele to feel any of this.

[Emora Deen]

Atul shot up. "What are you doing?" he asked, clamouring out of the tub. He grabbed Vlad's arm. "Of course I would have with you. I want you every bit as much as I want Tenele. But, you were with your wife. Rightfully so. I was hurt, Vlad. You shoved me out, and for good reason, but it didn't make it hurt any less."

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad tugged his arm back and clutched it to his chest. "Atul... could it be that you're a really horny person?" he demanded. "Things get a little lonely, and suddenly you're ready to betray me for a stranger. You know the situation is delicate, and yet you just stood there waiting for Tenele to notice and judge you. I shoved you for your own good. Get a grip on yourself! You're not the only person hurting!"

[Emora Deen]

Atul shrank back. He nodded slowly, pale. He had no words to respond to that. Oh, that was wrong. He had a million. None of them mattered. Looking very much like a dying man, the King backed away slowly. He left the room quietly, going into his wardrobe where he dawned a pair of pants. His hands shook as he drew them on, his mind reeling.

[Soran Nightblade]

The vampire frowned at the sink and finished what he'd gone there to do. He didn't want Tenele to wake up in this mood, so he watched his long-awaited connection with her bleed down the drain once again. He was so sick of being the mature one. He was tired of the people he loved coming and going as they pleased, making him pick up the pieces, letting him wait in suspense to see if he would be enough for them today. He emerged from the washroom a few minutes later, looking grayer without Tenele's blood. "I waited all night for you," he muttered to the king. "I came as soon as I could. You're not by yourself. Whatever I am to you, I'm here. Please don't hurt yourself again."

[Emora Deen]

Atul was sitting on the edge of the bed. He nodded. "I am sorry," he whispered, knowing that those words were useless, which is exactly why he hadn't said them a minute ago. Everything Vlad had said about he was true, and he hated it. He hated himself. He hated that he hurt the people who loved him. The King could feel the hard vice-like hand of depression crawl up from the dark hole he'd banished it too. He didn't deserve their love. The King rocked forward, putting his head in his hands. He clutched his skull tight enough that it could have crushed a normal man. He inhaled, and sat up straight, resting his hands on his knees.

"Cutting yourself might have woken her," Atul sighed, looking at Vlad's arm. "She might have felt the pain. She may be worried about you."

[Soran Nightblade]

"Then if she comes here, you can explain that I'm fine," Vlad said, doubting he'd woken her up. On his spectrum, the pain had been insignificant. "I'm going to the library. You might want to take a nap. You have a date at ten o'clock. I cleared your schedule." The vampire looked back at him, and real warmth glowed into his eyes. "I hope it goes well, my love." With that, he turned and let himself out.

Beside Tenele's bed, on the night stand, was a bud vase with a single red desert rose. Next to it rested Tenele's mother's sword, encased in its green-jeweled scabbard. A note beside the vase said "Shall we continue your lessons? -A."

[Emora Deen]

Atul was confused by Vlad's words, but a nap seemed like the best solution for his sluggish brain. But, he didn't think anything was going to fix the sickness in the pit of his stomach, or the loathing he felt for himself.

Just a horny person? It wasn't because he loved Tenele, and wanted and missed her? Maybe he was just a stupid man led by his dick? Maybe that's why he couldn't move from the spot he stood in. It wasn't the longing to be loved by them, and be with them, but he just wanted to have sex with them?

Atul rolled in bed, unable to sleep. He couldn't stop thinking. He just wallowed in misery, as he'd done when he first arrived back in the capital after leaving them. He couldn't accept Vlad's warmth when he left, not when he felt this much guilt. He had to get rid of it. He couldn't be like this if he was going to see her.

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad made his way back to the library. He wasn't in the mood to deal with people, but he needed to see the books that had come in from their loaner collections. Sure enough, the librarians Atul had appointed were already getting ready to start on time when Vlad arrived.

"Early this morning, Lord Dracul," one of them noted, hauling a pile of books. Vlad took them off his hands and brought them effortlessly to the central table. "You can start with these, Vladimir," said the only official who acted familiar with the vampire. The rest respectfully called him Lord. Vlad didn't mind the casual address, because the man was good at what he did. "These show the most promise. We will divvy up the others and compare notes after lunch." Vlad's stack was the largest, for good reason. He was more ambitious in his research, and he didn't take lunch. Definitely not today.

The vampire found a place in the back of the library where he could have some privacy. He studied with mixed success. He kept picturing Atul so desperate and unhappy that he would consider a stranger over him. That couldn't be normal, could it? That had to mean something was really wrong with the man. He was hurting that badly, and Vlad had thrown it aside like he was no worse off than the rest of him. What if he was worse off? What if he tried to do something else crazy? He made a mental note to find and watch over that pub tonight.

Then again, maybe it was just what it sounded like. After all, Atul was a straight man. His affection for Vlad could be a byproduct because he was associated with Tenele. How could he possibly stand in competition with female attention? If the opportunity to enjoy a woman came again, would Atul take it? Would he seek permission? Vlad wondered which he would hate more.

[Emora Deen]

Atul didn't get a nap. So, he thought he looked pretty dashing for twenty-four hours with no sleep, and his face still healing from his adventures that night. But, when Tenele opened the door and took a look at him, he knew instantly he was a mess.

"Your face!" she cried, reaching out for him. She took his face in her hands, concern creasing her features. It was such an unexpected touch, that the King nearly ran away from it.

"What happened?" she asked.

Atul reached up, smiling. He cupped her hands gently and pulled them away from his face. "It seems I have reached the self-destructive stage in my life," he sighed. "I saw a demon who was too cocky for his own good and felt the need to knock him down a few pegs."

"You got into a fight?" Tenele asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Like I said," the King sighed. "Self-destructive... At any rate, if you can get past my face, we have a date."

Tenele smiled. "It seems we do. Talon agreed to watch Tenara. She was a little sad she couldn't go with us."

Atul smiled. "We will make time for her this evening then. Alright, shall we press on?"

Tenele nodded, collecting her sword in her arms and following him from the room. "You aren't the only one who seems to have fallen into a self-destructive stage in their life," Tenele told him, cheeks flushing. "I am very sorry about yesterday."

Atul glanced away. "Its fine," he sighed. "Just... your body is your own, Tenele. Don't use it in a way that might hurt you, just for making a point or to please someone else."

"Thank you for not..."

"Don't mention it," Atul replied, smiling. "I didn't want to hurt you."

Tenele's eyes brightened. She nodded, holding the sword to her chest, and continuing on next to him. "Where are we going?"

"The gardens," Atul replied. "Its a beautiful day, and I thought it might be nice to practice there. What do you think?"

"The gardens sound great. I like them."

[Soran Nightblade]

Vlad sat perfectly straight and still as he read. It was well past ten when the idea first settled in on him. He began going back to things he'd bookmarked elsewhere, things he hadn't looked at in days, one after another. An hour later, he was sure.

There was a pattern. There were no records of getting an individual's memory back. In fact, in every eyewitness account, there had been no one else there, or they had seen from a great distance.

Could it be the creature only attacked when outnumbered? Then again, a single person would not have any memory, and therefore could write nothing down.

The logic settled like a big disappointing rock in his stomach. He'd thought he was on to something.